Good News

We have been notified that Emma will be able to attend our chosen school. I hope we have made the right decision, but also know she will do fine where ever she lands. She has two caring, educated parents at home and a support network of grandparents, friends and other loved ones who are there to help her each step of the way. Life is good.
And now the real adventure begins!! Our first official visit to the school as an enrolled family begins next week. Not sure what to expect, which seems odd since I use to do these type of events in my own classroom. But- I guess that's the point- this isn't my classroom and letting go of how things should be is a really important step for me. Perhaps I should say a series of steps, because I doubt this will be an easy journey. Letting go in many things in life is difficult. But letting go when it involves my daughter and my profession- is very difficult. But I also understand the importance of stepping back and watching things flow without a constant need for redirection. It will be a wonderful adventure- not always an easy one- but one I am finally looking forward to.

Kindergarten Round Up- Round 3

Round 3 is a little misleading at his point since this round included 3 new school visits (making this a total of 7 visits to different kindergartens in the area). Thankfully this round was much more successful than the last 2. And although I liked all 3 schools (at least to some degree and at least in comparison to the others I visited) I really loved one of them. Perfect it is not, but good enough for sure. It was warm and welcoming when I walked in. The staff- from the secretary and teachers, to the principal- were all very friendly and seemed to be have students interests and well being as their top priority. The walls were adorned with children's work that balanced creativity and academic push. And although I know this honeymoon phase of loving the school may soon pass- I sure hope it continues to be a happy commitment for some time to come. Our only obstacle now is waiting to see if we are granted the space available transfer spot. *fingerscrossed*

Kindergarten Round Up- Round 2

Although I went to our neighborhood public school open house, I did so with low expectations. I had heard not so favorable things from both teacher friends of mine and parents who kids go to the school. And while I knew I was walking in with judgments from others, I really tried to keep an open mind about the school and what could offer our daughter besides the convenience (for us parents anyway) of getting bussed every day.

Overall, I left just as disappointed and confused as I had left the other two schools. I really liked the principal. He seemed easy to work with and seemed like he would try to accommodate parents while keeping the best interest of all children in mind. But then there were the teachers. None of them made a stunning impression.

One of the teachers is fairly new and perhaps given a few years would be good- but he is not there yet. And although he wouldn't be harmful for our daughter, I wasn't sure he would be the best either. The second teacher was horrible and left me with an immediate bad taste as she danced around questions and slimed her way out of providing any meaning information about anything. I knew if my daughter ended up in her class, there would be more than one occasion we would not see eye to eye- and resolving anything with her would not be pretty. The third and final teacher was experienced and seemed to know how to handle an inquisitive parent. Props to her for at least answering my questions with knowledge and patience. With that said however; she made a horrible first impression as I observed her argue with teacher 2 about who was going to get the cute little girl that walked in with another family. And although the little girl was cute, their exchange was not; and it left me wondering about the professional choices they make when they don't feel they are onstage. Not to mention teacher 3's personal hygiene was seriously lacking.

So unlike the last school, I liked the principal but really wasn't impressed with the teaching staff- who on a day to day basis really are more important. So, by the end of Round-up rounds- I am still hopeful the neighboring district will decide to open up for school of choice again this year. For now it is just a waiting game I guess.

Kindergarten Round Up- Round 1

As I have mentioned, we have visited 2 schools for next year and have all but scratched both of them off our list. Not because they are horrible, evil places, but because they had a few issues that wouldn't work for us as well as I would like.

The first of these school was a private Catholic school, which is not really at all what I had envisioned for Emma, but considered it because we know so many great families who will attend this school next year and would love for all of them to be Emma's classmates. I do think this school will prepare the students well and that the kids and parents who attend will be happy with their choice to attend this school. Unfortunately for us, I just don't think it is a right match. I was turned off by the workbooks out on the tables and the poems on the walls which all had the exact same words and perfect spelling. I would have rather seen kid's attempts at spelling and their own attempts at writing a poem hanging on the wall. Maybe they do these things too, but hanging these examples up during the open house seemed to say what they really value is conformity over creativity, and product over process. Emma- being the free spirit that she is- would struggle with this I fear. And worse, I can imagine through her struggles she may give up some of her creative and out of the box ways of doing things that I love (OK, it drives me nuts sometimes too, but I do really love this about her!). She is not a rule follower, but than again neither is her Mama, so I guess none of us should be surprised.

The second school we visited I was sure- I was so very sure- I was going to love and was sure (yes, I said sure again!) it was the right match for Emma. That is until I visited. This is a special school in our district which is based on the open schools philosophy; a philosophy which I really gravitate towards. Children are given the reins and are empowered to make choices and really valued for who they are and what they have to offer. This is why I was so sure this was right for Emmie. And while these things may be true, as I walked around I had a very hard time looking past the filth and grime of the school. It wasn't just old, it was down right dirty and full of clutter. Additionally, I was so not impressed with the principal of this school. She seemed flighty, defensive and really unaware of the problem of filth in her school. I wasn't able to meet both of the kindergarten teachers, as only was was there (which in and of itself didn't impress me). The one I did meet seemed OK, but nothing special.

So, as for now, I am unimpressed; unimpressed and somewhat saddened that what I thought would be a great fit was not ideal. In the end, I know nothing will be perfect and that some of my hang ups will have to be forgone- but does it really mean she should go to dirty school with a flaky director or give up some of her creativity to conform to the masses? Goodness, I sure hope not.

Flowers are red

I am unsure I have made any movement in either direction when it comes to Emma's schooling, but I am continuing to think about my dilemma of whether or not to send her to school in the fall. Although I did mention my desire for Emma to do well, this isn't my main concern. I know in somethings she will really excel, and with other things she will struggle.

The real battle is whether I am ready for her to move on to formal schooling. Whether Emma stays at home another year- to enjoy more of her childhood, rather than for her to move up in her class standing; or whether she joins the class rolls next fall- I am sure she will do fine. She adapts well to life's many adventures.

I want her to enjoy being a child- something that at times can be missing from today's Kindergarten classrooms. I want her to wonder, grow at her own pace and to love learning. I worry that sending her this fall may make those things harder to achieve, but I also worry I am being too protective.

Her vision issues may impact her success next year, but they may not. As a mom, I don't want to see her struggle, not because of my own quirky tendencies- but because I worry how those struggles might shape her views about school.

I have tried to think of how I would have responded to myself as a teacher. I vacillate between thinking I would have said "go for it; she is ready" and "if you are worried waiting a year isn't a bad idea either". Obviously, this hasn't gotten me very far.

I am fairly sure if I knew and liked her teacher for her kindergarten year- this would be a fairly easy decision. If Kendra or Jen were teachers in our district, I would have very few qualms about sending her to school. However, if her teachers are more like many other teachers I have known- I would mostly likely keep her at home another year.

So, although I have not made made any decisions, I think what has become clearer is finding the right fit. We have been to two open house and weren't impressed with either (more on those will come another day I am sure). Perhaps the best thing for us to do now is to visit a few more schools and hold tight to hear if other schooling choices will open up for next year or not (more on this later too).

On a final note for the evening, a Harry Chapin song comes to mind. It is one of my favorites and was used as the introduction to my masters thesis which explored the importance of play in the elementary classroom. Perhaps this better illustrates my concerns about sending her to school than my own ramblings do...

Flowers are Red
by Harry Chapin

The little boy went first day of school
He got some crayons and started to draw
He put colors all over the paper
For colors was what he saw
And the teacher said.. What you doin' young man
I'm paintin' flowers he said
She said... It's not the time for art young man
And anyway flowers are green and red
There's a time for everything young man
And a way it should be done
You've got to show concern for everyone else
For you're not the only one

And she said...
Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than they way they always have been seen

But the little boy said...
There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one

Well the teacher said.. You're sassy
There's ways that things should be
And you'll paint flowers the way they are
So repeat after me.....

And she said...
Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than they way they always have been seen

But the little boy said...
There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one

The teacher put him in a corner
She said.. It's for your own good..
And you won't come out 'til you get it right
And are responding like you should
Well finally he got lonely
Frightened thoughts filled his head
And he went up to the teacher
And this is what he said.. and he said

Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen

Time went by like it always does
And they moved to another town
And the little boy went to another school
And this is what he found
The teacher there was smilin'
She said...Painting should be fun
And there are so many colors in a flower
So let's use every one

But that little boy painted flowers
In neat rows of green and red
And when the teacher asked him why
This is what he said.. and he said

Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen.

You can also watch the you tube version here

Starting Out

I decided I needed a place- thus this blog- to process the random thoughts about my beautiful 4 year old daughter's schooling. She is a neat kid, but she is faced with a few minor challenges. She is active and smart, social and stubborn, caring and independent. Those traits are pretty run of the mill four year old traits. Being raised bilingually and having problems with her vision are just two of the many ways which make her stand out in a room of her peers. Those are the two aspects that concern me most as we consider her schooling options.

First, I can barely believe my baby is turning five this summer and is eligible to attend school in the fall. That in and of itself is a hurdle this mama needs to overcome. Who said she could grow up this fast? Where did my baby go?? So the dilemma I am pondering today is whether to send her to school next year; or if we should wait another year.

As a teacher, I use to think it was never a bad idea to wait a year. I have seen so many children who weren't quite ready for kindergarten struggle and lose precious moments of their childhood in the high stakes testing world our schools have too often become. When I was a kindergarten teacher I vowed that when I became a mommy I wouldn't force her into academics and that I would allow her grow and enjoy her childhood at her own pace.

As a mom, I still believe that mantra I wore so proudly on my teaching sleeve- but there is something else there. Something I didn't expect and something quite frankly I am a little ashamed to even admit. Somehow I became that mom I shook my head at as a teacher, the one who wanted her baby to be the best. The one who wasn't quite happy if her child performed average or if anything wasn't up to par- even when many other things were.

Don't get me wrong, I know Emma is talented and very smart, but some things are not on par with her peers. Her gross motor skills are still in the range of normal, but nowhere as advanced as many of her friends. Much of this has to due with her vision problems- I know this. Emma has a perfectly normal right eye- it sees beautifully; but her left eye is considered legally blind. She is currently undergoing patching therapy which is helping retrain her brain to accept signals from the low vision eye. The good news is it is helping, the bad news is not as quickly as the doctors would have liked to see. Thus, her depth perception, which understandably relates to her gross motor skills, is less than stellar.

Emma's speech is another area of concern. She is a very verbal child who has a wide vocabulary in both English and German. However, not everyone can understand what she says, which can be a frustrating experience for all involved. She still struggles with her "f" sounds (along with other fricative consonants), which is still considered normal- but once again as she nears the borderlands of what is normal and what is not- I worry. Many people would write off her speech issues on her being bilingual, but the research doesn't necessarily agree with this time honored myth. It is a research base I have become engrossed in and one in which I am currently writing my doctoral thesis about. Yet, as knowledgeable about education and bilingual language development as I may be- research somehow doesn't seem to apply when it is your own kid.

On the other hand, Emma can write her name, knows many of her beginning and ending sounds, loves to rhyme, can follow directions (at least when she is interested and in the right mood :), has fairly good one to one correspondence for her age and is socially ready to be engaged with her peers.

So the question remains- Do we jump ahead knowing Emma may face a few more challenges than some of her peers, or do we simply wait until she is six and go from from there? I am torn between honoring her childhood and honoring her abilities to move forward if she is indeed ready. Who would have thought these choices would be so hard for a mom who has studied education, especially at the early childhood level, and who has taught for 10 years? What are your thoughts?